Monday, December 12, 2005

Fighting for Computer Time

Got a new computer yesterday. Don't know if we're actually keeping it or not, tho. Dan's MAC is about dead and the two of us have been working off of mine for a couple months now. He's back in school and the MAC just won't cut it anymore, so he needs my PC to do all his homework on. Which is fine.....IF I don't want to use a computer. Unfortunately, I DO want to use a computer. I think the new one is going to work out ok....right now we're just using dial-up on it and it's slllllooooooowwww like molasses....I think if we figure out how to use the Broadband router we bought, we should be in business. Dan is having second thoughts and buyers remorse and all that stuff. He's partial to his MACS and I think the idea of switching to a PC is more than he can bear at times. It'd be nice to be compatible, tho. For now, however, we are back to arguing over computer-time. He's taken print-outs of all his fantasy football teams downstairs for the moment, so the computer is mine, mine, least until he comes back up here.
I should write a new poem. I should send an already written poem to an editor or a publisher. I should work on beautifying some already started poems.
I should go play Pogo games. Lottso, I think. Or maybe Poppit. Lately all I want to do is be mindless. I don't want to write, I don't want to think, I don't want to do anything which taxes my brain or uses up my precious-little store of energy.
I keep telling myself that when a poem is ready, it'll magic. I know better, tho. No poem is magic unless you make it that way. A poem is hard work and sweat and time-taken. It'd be nice to have that kind of talent that just "happens", but I don't. I have virtually no talent other than sheer stubbornness. Which is why I write, maybe, in a good year, a grand total of 6 half-way decent poems. I think I've used up my quota for this year. Good thing it's December.

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