Pipe Dreams

Ok....so it's not Clueless George....It's still fun!!

pipecleaner_dance

"Please, Take Back The Sparrows"

http://www.versedaily.org/2006/takesparrows.shtml

Normally I do not like prose poems.....normally I hate prose poems. Today I am lifting my self-imposed ban on prose poems. Not only am I reading one, I am recommending one. (When I rescind something, even temporarily, I rescind it fully.)

For some reason this particular poem by Suzanne Buffam (whom I've never even heard of) hit me directly in the gut. There's not a thing in here which isn't true and concise and for prose poetry, it's quite baldly stated. It's stark, it's simplistic and it's profound in its stark simplicity. The ending is (to quote a fat-friend's favorite phrase about food) "to die for."

"They bathe in dust." How good is THAT?

Clueless George

Many thanks to Rebecca Loudon (http://radishking.blogspot.com/) for this one!!


http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

You can use your mouse to unstick him - personally I love the look on his face when he's stuck, though. (My friend, Tod, says you can throw him into the bubbles, as well. Leave it to a guy to figure that one out!)

Enjoy!!

Swift Satire Poetry Competition 2006

If there's any one particular brand of humor which totally tickles me and which I am totally incapable of producing - it's satire......biting and witty and well-written satire. It's a totally underappreciated form of poetry (and a totally sincere form of flattery) and it takes a special sort of skill to write it even half-way successfully - a skill I regrettably do not possess.

These people do, though, and some of them possess it in abundance. Don't take my word for it - check it out!! I've picked out my favorite, I'd love to hear yours. It's so much fun to pick a "winner" before the judges do.

http://www.swiftsociety.com/index.html

A True Chicago-Style Irishman on St. Paddy's Day

Delirious Submissions

Sounds like a Harlequin Romance Novel, doesn't it? It isn't....what it is - is stupidity. And I have no one to blame but myself, although I will blame fever as the primary instigator and boredom as a secondary factor.

It's been four days now and I still feel like bird-turd. Still coughing, still aching, still sniffling and sneezing and not sleeping. My head hurts, my chest hurts, even my toenails hurt. I whine when I speak, I can hear myself. Poor Dan's getting pretty disgusted with the whine, as well as with all the various snotty sounds - to say nothing of the fact that he's not only got to drive himself to work and back, he also has to keep reheating the same lasagna over and over again if he wants to eat. Me, I'm just sucking popsicles, drinking tea and losing weight. Not a bad thing, normally, but I don't weigh all that much to begin with, and the bit of soft stomach that I'd like to loose is stubbornly staying put.

Interesting as all this is to you......I'll quit now. In a sudden fit of "Look, Dan, I'm actually sitting up" pride, I decided this morning that I would take advantage of the enforced down time to cull some poetry and do some submitting. And what did I do???? I sent things to The New Yorker. Of ALL places!!! What the HELL was I thinking? Was I thinking? (The correct answer here is "Obviously not.") The New Yorker is not going to like my stuff. The New Yorker doesn't even like the stuff of anyone whose stuff I like. I write rhyme - they seldom publish rhyme. I write short things - they like long things. I don't use simile or metaphor or descriptions - they like simile and metaphor and descriptions. I have no "Name" - they tend to publish nothing but Name.

Why do I even want to GET into The New Yorker? (Same reason I want to get into Poetry Magazine or Atlantic Monthly -- I am a masochist)

If I really want/need the validation that I obviously somehow think comes with being published in one of "those" places, the real question should not be "Why?" The real question should be: "Well then, what can I do to make them seriously consider me?" "Write the kind of poetry that they like" would be the practical answer. But what if that would mean writing poetry that I don't like myself? Is that even possible to do? Having never had the benefit of schooling, I've never learned the discipline that comes with being forced to write something I didn't want to write.

The New Freakin Yorker!!!!! Have I lost my mind????? Last month I sent a few things off to Poetry for their special humor issue.....I thought that was bad enough, but I do it every year and I get rejected every year and I'm kind of used to it by now so I did it again anyhow. But The New Yorker?????

You do know what this means, don't you?

If the words "Computer Generated Rejection Letter" come to mind, you win!!! I don't have a prize to offer, but I can share my flu if you like.

Can You Play "Name This Lawyer"????

Depending on her motives, this woman has either failed miserably or succeeded wildly. If nothing else, she's proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that women in politics can be every bit as stupid and as dangerous as a man. Any idea yet of who she is? Try here: http://scoplaw.blogs.com/scoplaw/2006/03/moussaoui.html

Better Late Than Never

Sorry it's taken me so long to say this.......one of the "kitty babies" became deathly ill on Saturday and the entire weekend was consumed by cat puke, cat poop, visits to the Cat ER, Cat-IV fluids, and it still ended up with the resultant and dreaded - Cat Coma. As he miraculously became better on Monday morning, I became ill myself....damn the flu, anyhow. So it's all cough-cough-cough and hack-hack-hack and muscle aches and bone aches and feverish deliriums. Kitty-Baby is returning the nursing favor, though, so at least I'm not laying in bed dying alone....he's loyally laying there next to me tearing up the kleenex box and trying to drink my 7Up.


Anyhow....drop by here: http://robmack.blogspot.com/2006/03/national-poetry-competition-2005_12.html and say "Congratulations" to Rob on a job well done.


News like that just rocks.

Going Out Of Hope Sale

"Catholic Charities stuns state, ends adoptions "

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/03/11/catholic_charities_stuns_state_ends_adoptions/

Well damn - talk about "washing your hands" of the whole thing.

For 103 years, Catholic Charities of Boston has always been the one consistent ray of hope for hard-to-place, orphaned and/or abandoned Catholic foster children in the Boston area as well as for the responsible birth parents who understand (for whatever reason) that they are ill-equipped to raise a child but are deeply concerned that their child be given the best possible chance at a good home with strongly committed Catholic parents.



Apparently the good Bishops of Mass. have summarily overridden the lay board of The Catholic Charities of Boston, thrown a self-righteous, pseudo-religious hissy fit, cut off their children to spite their gays, and decreed that they will no longer be in the business of providing hope to orphans, their birth parents, any of their wanna-be-parents, or to society in general if it means they must also provide hope to a small group of prospective adoptive (and gasp!) homosexual parents as well.

Why does John 8:7 come to mind? You know the one. It starts out with "Let he who is..." and ends with "...cast the first stone." Maybe it's too old to be of any value in today's modern world....maybe it only applies to Pharisees and not to bishops....maybe people ought to clean their own house before they go passing judgement on the cleanliness of others....oh wait, that brings us right back to the aforementioned and probably outdated John 8 again, doesn't it? When will I ever learn?

New Link

It is always a pleasure to hear that people are reading your blog. I am always amazed and delighted to find out that it is so. I am especially delighted when a previously unknown blogger takes the time to write me an email requesting reciprocal links. Unfortunately, unless I think that a majority of people reading will be interested in what they have to offer, I just can't bring myself do it. How grand it is, tho, when someone asks you and you're not only surprised by the request, but pleased and honored as well.

If you've got a minute (or two or ten, since literally everyone seems to be in Austin this weekend) drop by John Baker's site. http://www.bakers64.freeserve.co.uk/weblog.htm

John is a novelist and short story writer from the UK who manages to be both an interesting and informative blogger - and that's a killer combination in my book.

Check him out. I sincerely doubt you'll be sorry.

Birthday Headlines for Joe

Ugh...what kind of a world am I leaving for my children to inherit?

DELAY WINS GOP PRIMARY
http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/03/07/delay.election/index.html

SOUTH DAKOTA BANS MOST ABORTIONS
http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/03/06/sd.abortion/index.html

CONGRESS VOTES TO RENEW PATRIOT ACT
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/07/AR2006030701082.html?sub=AR


SENATE PANEL BLOCKS EAVESDROPPING PROBE
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/07/AR2006030701549.html?nav=hcmodule

Gitmo Prosecutor Denies Detainees Tortured (but he can see why some investigative techniques could be viewed that way.)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/07/AR2006030702073.html

Happy Freakin' Birthday, Joseph.....from a world gone to hell and a mother driven to despair.

I'm sorry, Son, I really am. You don't know this part of me, but I once marched and chanted and passed out flowers in a Chicago park and got gassed by orders of a Democratic mayor. I was much younger than you are now when all this took place. You see, I was a part of the "Baby Boomer" generation....We were the generation that was going to "make a difference." We fought and marched (and a few of us died) for freedom, for peace, for civil rights, for woman's rights, for the rights of children, for the rights of the physically and mentally handicapped, for animal rights, for liberty, for justice, and for honesty. We railed against Lyndon Johnson, against The Viet Nam War, against segregation, against prejudice, against political corruption and cover-up. We were Anti-War and Pro-Choice. We fought to take specifically-based religious prayers out of the public schools and put back into the churches where they rightfully belonged. We were all about freedom of religion and human rights. We lobbied for sex education, not only in the home but also in the school. We supported the belief that all women had the right to make an educated personal choice in the way they kept their bodies through the use and the teaching of ALL birth control methods, not just the abstinance method that is federally funded today. We supported Roe VS Wade, we campaigned for Jimmy Carter, we campaigned against Richard Nixon, we demonstrated for an end to the Viet Nam war, we called for justice to be served in memory of the victims of Mai Li, we argued for the humane treatment of our own incarcerated population, we argued against the death penalty and for rehabilitation. And when it came to prisoners of war, well, we then believed in The Geneva Convention. We set up clinics and shelters for the mentally ill, for the physically ill, for the poor, for the homeless and for the hungry. Some few of us joined the SDS, many, many more of us joined The Peace Corps.

If you look at the majority of the Baby Boomers who are currently running this country, the ones who are making the rules, the ones who are voting (or not voting, as the case may be) for those people who do do those things, you'd never know it, but once upon a time some of those people truly believed in the concepts of freedom for everyone and that the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were inalienable for all of us.

We were the children of Camelot and we thought we were winning.....until we grew up and somehow turned into the very machine we had raged against....and from the sounds of today's headlines, we've not only become that machine, we're well on our way to perfecting it.

Happy Birthday, Joey, from your mom - one of the few remaining imperfections.

I've Forgetten

how strange I can appear at times. Actually, like all good little weirdo's, I don't really think I'm strange at all. I'm ok with that. I don't suppose being different is all that much to brag about in most places, and I remember enough feelings of uncomfortableness during my formative years that I try to keep a big wide space between the "benignly strange" and the "dangerously weird" in my life and in my personality.

It helps that I'm fairly reclusive, I'm sure. I don't go out much and so I'm not constantly having to face my differences or to compare my lifestyle with the lifestyles of others. I know that poetry is considered "weird" in many circles, but I stay out of that loop for the most part, and when I'm in it, I know enough to keep my mouth shut and my smile fixed. Dan will occasionally push the issue and tell his friends or some work-type acquaintance that I'm a "poet" but he's aware that it bothers me and he's fairly careful to keep it light and not let anyone press the issue with either of us. He's much more apt to show my work to people than I am. I've gotten used to it, but I'll never be comfortable with it.

Occasionally, tho, I'll be reminded that the things I take for granted in my life - the things I enjoy, the conversations I have - they are not considered "normal" by even other abnormal people...such as the "poetry people" I know and admire.

Case in point - I recently workshopped a poem here on Eratosphere: http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/Forum17/HTML/003505.html
Four out of eleven people remarked on the unlikelyhood of people in a relationship waking up and talking about God in the morning. I agree with many of the other comments - "unshaven skin" does NOT keep the cold from creeping in.....cold always "creeps in" and so to baldly state it in a poem is redundancy supreme...."comparision" is not only rhyme-driven, it's just plain wrong......but the part where people had trouble with the AM conversation - well, that part threw me. Am I to take it, then, that people do NOT routinely wake up and discuss God over coffee and bagels? Is this one more way that I am "different" and somehow flawed? Or, looking at it from my point of view, (always dangerous) am I just uncommonly lucky that Dan is willing and able to bypass the usual "car needs gas" and "we're almost out of milk" conversations and move right on into the interesting stuff? It helps that he has a major in Religion, I'm sure....there's not a question I can come up with that he can't answer...and it also helps that he's a non-practicing Jew who has no trouble believing in his faith, yet some difficulty believing in God and I'm a lapsed Catholic who has no dificulty believing in God but all kinds of trouble with organized faith. The truth is, we DO wake up some mornings (many mornings, in fact) and discuss God-ism...and creationism and Darwinism and Buddhism and Judaism and Catholicism and every other "ism" we know of. We discuss, we argue, we rant, we rave, we laugh and we snarl over these things regularly. It's nice....I enjoy it. I had all those years where the conversations that filled the entire day went something like "Don't forget your key, I'm on call today" and "Damn it, don't you let that cat outside again" and "Mom, we need milk, bread, cereal, money, etc etc" I realize that I am at that point in life where I don't have to be consumed by all those little details that make up marriage and parenthood, but still....don't other people in other relationships talk about God in the morning? Is there a better time? A more proper time? Is it the morning hour itself that caused a problem or the conversation in general?

It's perfectly natural here in the Halberstein/Heidy household. The following books are on Dan's nightstand - " Where God Was Born" by Bruce Feiler, "The Holocaust Chronicle" by Publications International and an often-read and favorite Bible which I borrow all the time. On my side of the bed, you'll find "To Heal a Fractured World - The Ethics of Responsibility" by Rabbi J. Sacks and "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. (There's also a copy of Cosmo and one of Glamour as well, but we won't talk of them right now.) The downstairs bookshelves are filled to overflow with books on religion - from a dozen books on the Crusades and the Knight-Templars to several dozen different historical books, written both in English and in Hebrew, to a well-worn copy of the Quran and a King James version of the bible with the New Testament included. Why would we not speak of our interests in the morning? Isn't that what people DO in the morning when there's time? And if there isn't time, and the questions are important, don't they MAKE the time?

If this is strange behaviour, let me paraphrase St. Augustine and say "Lord, make me normal, but just not yet."

Oh Where Oh Where Has that Sestina-Thing Gone?

I am unsure about leaving poems up for any length of time. I never intend to submit poetry, but inevitably, I end up forgetting my good intentions and doing so anyhow. Because it seems to be considered "previously published" to have appeared on a blog (but not in an internet workshop which deletes after a certain time limit) I'm happier just putting it up for a few days (usually under 3) and then removing it. I seldom post the finished version. This particular sestina underwent major renovation in the last 24 hours or so. I'm almost happy with it, although, truthfully, I'm never really happy with anything. Close enough to consider it "finished", however, and that's an accomplishment. There's not much market for sestina - other than McSweeneys. I've submitted there once before and received back the sweetest rejection letter I've ever gotten. Maybe I'll try them again. I'd like to send them Dan's sestina, as well. He and I used the same end words and each told the respective stories of our first divorces. I love the contrast of the two of them side-by-side - the similarity of the form, the exactness of the identical end words and the screaming differences of the tales and the tellers themselves. How very very versatile the English language is. How absolutely amazing that his world and mine somehow collided. Life is almost as strange as poetry.....and infinately more interesting.

Sestina-in-the-Raw

See above explanation

Poems....by RHE

http://rhepoems.blogspot.com/

I don't like much that I read by live contemporary poets. That's sad, I'm sure, and I've equally sure that it's my fault and my fault alone. It's just that nothing seems to say much and it doesn't even say nothing in an interesting way. I like the "old" stuff. I like the archaic and the twisted and the heavily rhymed and metered. There's not much of that being written nowadays. And so, I keep looking for another "Tyger Tyger" or another "Had we but world enough, and time," and of course, I never find it. I find a poem here or a poem there by various authors and I fall in love, but it doesn't last. It ends up being one poem or maybe two poems and then they fall out of favor for one reason or another.
I did find Richard Epstein, though, and to my amazement I find that I'm pretty consistently smitten.

I'd first met Richard years ago, on a now defunct poetry board. He was cantankerous and opinionated at the time and he scared me to death. That much doesn't seem to have changed with time. I don't even know if his poetry has changed all that much. I didn't read it too carefully years ago. For one thing, I didn't know squat about reading poetry - and for another, I was too busy trying not to attract his attention with my own poor first attempts at writing it. Luckily for me, I rediscovered him a few weeks ago on his very own blog.

Either he's gotten way better at writing it or I've gotten way better at reading it, but regardless, his poetry rocks.

Go read it for yourself. Don't tell him I sent you, though, tell him Iris did it.

Take a moment for Sheryl Crow -

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/02/25/ucrow.xml&sSheet=/portal/2006/02/25/ixportaltop.html

and for my Aunt Marge, for my Aunt Violet, for my cousin Jill, for my friend Nancy, for my former co-worker, also Nancy, for my best friend's sister, for Sharon who worked in radiology, for my boyfriend's ex-wife, and for all of the women across the world who have fought, who are fighting, or who have, unfortunately, already lost their battle.....and then ask yourself, how many "moments" have they lost....and how many more do we all have to give up before a cure is found and the war won.....and then ask yourself what you can do.

http://www.komen.org/intradoc-cgi/idc_cgi_isapi.dll?IdcService=SS_GET_PAGE&nodeId=298


In-Utero


benevolent garden
one foreign seed draws first breath
inhale - divide


three spores are scattered
six cells seek sanctuary
exhale - multiply


malignant conception
each silent new spawn mutates
inhale - exhale

Happy Birthday, Jason

I know my children are all grown up because they acknowledge one another's birthdays with either a card or a phone call without my reminding them beforehand.

After years and years of listening to arguing and often muttered whines of "I hate him" or screaming hissy fits of "I'm going to kill him"....they finally LIKE each other - they really really LIKE each other. YAY!!!

Depressing New About Poetry Sales

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/publishing/publishing.feature.html?id=177576

This is not the whole article reprinted here - it is one excerpt which shows holiday poetry book sales for one specific bookstore. The others, however, are depressingly similar in their tallies.

Open Books: A Poem Emporium 2414 North 45th Street Seattle, Washington 98103 (206) 633-0811 www.openpoetrybooks.com Bookseller: John Marshall TOP POETRY SALES 1. Tao Te Ching translated by Sam Hamill (Shambhala) - 13 copies 2. Solar Prominence by Kevin Craft (Cloudbanks Books) - 12 copies 2. Wild Braid by Stanley Kunitz (W.W. Norton) - 12 copies 3. Funny by Jennifer Michael Hecht (University of Wisconsin Press) - 11 copies 4. Poems from Ish River Country by Robert Sund (Shoemaker and Hoard) - 10 copies 5. Enter Invisible by Catherine Wing (Sarabande Books) - 8 copies 5. Niagara River by Kay Ryan (Grove Press) - 8 copies 6. New & Selected Poems Volume Two by Mary Oliver (Beacon) - 7 copies 7. Pieces of Air in the Epic by Brenda Hillman (Wesleyan University Press) - 6 copies 8. Say Uncle by Kay Ryan (Grove Press) - 5 copies 8. Elephant Rocks by Kay Ryan (Grove Press) - 5 copies 9. Migration by W.S. Merwin (Copper Canyon Press) - 5 copies 9. A Family of Poems edited by Caroline Kennedy (Hyperion) - 5 copies 9. Dangerous Astronomy by Sherman Alexie (Limberlost Press) - 5 copies 9. Winter Morning Walks by Ted Kooser (Carnegie-Mellon University Press) - 5 copies 10. Facts About the Moon by Dorianne Laux (W.W. Norton) - 4 copies 10. The Trouble with Poetry by Billy Collins (Random House) - 4 copies 10. Dog Language by Chase Twichell (Copper Canyon Press) - 4 copies 10. Jejuri by Arun Kolatkar (New York Review Books Classics) - 4 copies


Pretty sad, yes? The 10th top selling poetry book, written by none other than Billy Collins who is one of the top selling living poets, sold a whopping 4 copies. I wonder how many a book of poems by (oh say) me would sell?

This couldn't have come at a better time. I'm attempting to pull together enough poems to create a manuscript for a poetry contest being sponsored by AWP. The Association of Writers & Writing Programs -- Serving Writers Since 1967 Well, not exactly "enough" poems, I have more than "enough" - I just don't have enough good poems to qualify for inclusion. Funny how a poem you wrote a year ago sounded so good a year ago but doesn't stand up to today's test of time. I'd like to think it's because I know more now and I have higher expectations of myself, but I fear the truth is - it isn't very good now because it wasn't very good then. Sometimes, after working and working to write a poem and then revising and revising that same poem 50 or 100 times, you become so close to it and you have so much invested in it that it HAS to seem good. But give yourself enough time to forget the work and to forget the agony and it's just a poem, and, unfortunately, it's not even a very good one.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Do I really think I have something to say that no one else has or will say as well as I can say it? Do I really believe that I have the talent and the intelligence and the utter nerve that it takes to write even one poem, never mind a whole book of poems, that someone else will want to read?

Besides that, Dan is making me switch from my familiar and hopelessly outdated and incompatible-with-virtually-everything word processor to his widely-used but Geek-to-me Microsoft Word program.....and I can't figure out how to get the damn page number thingie to work. There - I've got an excuse. This particular contest will have to pass me by.

Happy Birthday, Megan!!!!!

Milk Dreams

Once I knelt as mere chattel, bought cheaply
at the marketplace for the price of a thin gold finger ring
and invisible chains around my heart. (In China, feet
are bound and women trip tightly. Possession
is somehow stated in stunted toe tips.)
I endured a fashionable slavery - stunned and staring
like a steer anticipating slaughter, (only not in India, where even
beef is more revered) my heart forever measured in China feet.
I gave him nothing, keeping the secret of the Indian cow.
I took instead, his male children and feed them milk dreams.

My sons shall not grow chains which masquerade as thin gold
finger rings (my joy shall be the women - dancing on bigger feet.)

Can Somebody Please Tell Me What "Uttering and Publishing" Is....And Why It's Apparently a Crime?

http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles?id=n20060214180009990021&cid=936


Man Sentenced in Sheep Abuse Case
AP
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. (Feb. 14) - A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender.
Jeffrey S. Haynes said the state registry is intended to keep track of people who have committed crimes against humans.
But Calhoun County Circuit Court Judge Conrad Sindt told Haynes at his sentencing hearing that once he is released from prison, he must register with the Michigan State Police Public Sex Offender Registry.
Haynes, 42, of Battle Creek, was sentenced Monday to 2 1/2 years to 20 years in prison. He entered the plea in January. A no contest plea is not an admission of guilt but is treated as such for sentencing purposes.
Tamara Towns, an assistant prosecutor for the county, argued that Haynes should be ordered to register as a sex offender because once out of prison, he could prey on children or vulnerable adults.
Haynes said he is not a violent person and would not assault children.
"The prosecutor is being real hard on me for what I did," he said. "But I should not be treated as a child molester."
A telephone call seeking comment was left Tuesday at the Marshall office of defense attorney John B. Sullivan.
Police said Haynes had sex with a sheep at a Bedford Township farm on Jan. 26, 2005. The animal's owner caught him on the property and the sheep was found injured.
Haynes was arrested in June after a DNA sample taken from the animal matched Haynes' genetic material.
Haynes has prior convictions for burglary, home invasion and uttering and publishing, and was on parole for burglary at the time of the sex crime. Copyright 2006 The Associated Press

Nobody Says It Better

Than Seth:

http://sethabramson.blogspot.com/

What I wanna know is twofold. Did the hospital ER report the gunshot wound to the local authorities, and if so, why wasn't the investigation immediate? It appears from all reputable sources that the local police were apparently not "allowed" to interview anyone (read: Cheney) until the morning after the night before - and so - did anyone actually get a blood alcohol level drawn at any time even remotely near the time the incident took place? Both things should have been standard ER procedure from what I know....but, hey, what do I know? I only worked in an ER and on an ambulance for 13 1/2 years....and I'm barely old enough to remember Chappaquiddick.....not that there are any similarities or anything. Maybe Texas just does things differently than Indiana does.

Maybe there were special circumstances that I don't know about.

Maybe pigs fly.

Family - There's Nothing Better

On Being A Woman

I'm mulling over being female this morning. I've been preaching to anyone who'll listen about how my sex does not matter in my poetry. Then I stopped and remembered all the poems I've written about that very thing. The question now is.....and I writing about being "me" and "me" just happens to be a female, or am I so much of a closet-militant that I can't even see it?
You be the judge:


Bhauta

There is no safe tomorrow, only fear
which follows night. Anticipation waits
Behind the sun, beneath the moon. I hear

the voice of God each time the wind abates -
each time a shadow falls - each time the rain
revives a drowning ghost then dissipates

to bonelesness in soft tearstained refrain.
I've been insane. I've been the woman, frail
and wan, with parchment skin. I've been restrained.

I've traced my name in raindrops on the pale
soft flesh of strangers until God foretold
the danger and the downpour turned to hail.

I've been afraid. I've watched the storms unfold
around me while my lover's lies grew cold.
I talk to God. He leaves the truth untold.
_____________________

Milk Dreams

Once I knelt as mere chattel, bought cheaply
at the marketplace for the price of a thin gold finger ring
and invisible chains around my heart. (In China, feet
are bound and women trip tightly...possession
is somehow stated in stunted toe tips.)
I endured a fashionable slavery...stunned and staring
like a steer anticipating slaughter - (only not in India, where even
beef is more revered) - my heart forever measured in China feet.
I gave him nothing, keeping the secret of the Indian cow.
I took instead, his male children...and feed them milk dreams.
My sons will not grow chains which masquerade as thin gold
finger rings (my joy will be your daughters, dancing on bigger feet.)

___________________________


The Artist

You're painting me in chains - my aching arms
held high above my head, my hands restrained,
my legs spread open wide enough that worms
can crawl between the crevices and gain
control. Your dragonflies sew shut my eyes
while seven snakes sleep nestled in my hair.
Wild bees wax close my lips, my ears. My thighs
and hips are stilled by spider-webs. You prove
you're worthy to be hung in a museum while I -
I wear indignity as easily
as if it were a dress I could remove.
_____________________


The Death of the Infant Sun

Perhaps we women laughed too loud, too long,
or not enough. Perhaps our sins were far
too large for God to overlook. How wrong
the darkness has become - how midnight-marred
each day begins and ends. There is no joy
in walking half the night - or counting stars
or dreaming back or looking straight ahead.
There is no daytime ruse we can employ -
no sleight of hand has ever brought the dead
sky back to light, concealed our scars, or paused
the anguish long enough for us to cry.

We women know that we alone have caused
the dark to fall - the light cast out our wombs to die.

The Level of Hell to Which I'll Descend

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Women and Metrics and Forms, Oh My!!!

http://sailpoet.com/myblog/?p=54

Robin is starting a new discussion forum based upon, well, upon discussing the use of form. It's geared towards woman and metrics, but it also appears as if it will be friendly to metrically-inclined males as well. I'm not a big "joiner" but after some serious thought, I've decided to give it a go....there aren't enough people around to discuss "form" with and who am I to diss something based on a possible slant/bias towards one sex or the other?

Truth is, I don't know how many times my poetry's been dismissed:
A. because I am female
or
B. because I write mainly in metrics and rhyme.

I'm hoping the number is small on both counts. At the risk of showing my own ignorance/ego, I've never really thought about either as a possibility. I generally figure if people don't like something, it's because it's just not good enough to like. End of story - promise do better the next time.

My favorite poems are not specifially written by men or women, but they are specifically written in metrics, which leads me to believe I might find something of value in Robin's new group. Lord knows there is little enough of contemporary formal poetry around anymore. (My bias, no one else's)

That being said, I don't think women poets bring anything to poetry that their male counterparts do not....other than an inevitable woman's point of view, of course. What they do bring, what we all bring, is our own unique view of the world. I can't speak for anyone else, but what I bring to the table is what I've seen and done and observed, not as a female, but as the kind of human that I am...what I've done for a living, where I've traveled, what I've seen and observed. I can't not be a woman, of course, but I also can't not be a medic or a firefighter or a mother or a neurotic hermit. I don't write as a "woman", I write as a "me". I read poetry the same way.

Reassuringly enough, there are as many bad male poets around as there are female ones.....there is no sexist line drawn which protects one sex or the other from writing bad verse. (I just threw that in there because I am increasingly distraught at the number of bad poems I've been reading lately...pay it no mind, it's irrelevant to the current rant)

What is relevant is the fact that I do believe in my heart-of-hearts that the reason so much poetry is bad is because it is not metrical. To me (and I realize I am in the vast wasteland of poetical minority here) poetry should sing - and in order to sing it needs rhythm - and in order to have rhythm it needs to be metrical....(wheels go 'round in circles)

I've heard it argued that meter is constricting - Meter is not constricting, quite the opposite, it opens up the world of writing into all sorts of beautifully constructed things. The ebb and flow of poetic language itself can only properly unfold in metered precision. Just as there is no "random" in the tides or in the sun's rise and set, neither is there random in word choice or placement in a good poem.

There, I've said it.

Yikes.

Me Me Me and the State of Virginia DMV

I am beginning to think it would be easier to regain Virgin status then it will be to gain Virginian status.
I was pulled over by the County Police again last night.....same cop as last time, in fact. He was more irate this time, however, not only did he make me put my cigarette out, his partner wouldn't allow Dan to open the passenger's door so he could put HIS cigarette out before he got yelled at, too.
The problem is this: My car is registered, licensed, and plated here in Virginia. My drivers license is from Indiana. Apparently that's illegal in Virginia. When I first moved here, I got pulled over for having out of state plates....no problem, right? I'll just get plates.....Easier said than done. First I had to get emissions tested...I flunked. Then I had to get a state inspection, and once again, I flunked. Then we had to pay hundreds of dollars in needless repairs to pass them both a second time....Which I did. So far, so good. Then I had to get an Arlington County sticker...which I did, only then we moved to Alexandria and I had to get an Alexandria sticker...which I also did. I fully expected to get a new drivers license at the same time I titled and plated the car, but the DMV had other ideas.
I failed the "prove who you are" part of the quiz. Apparently the only acceptable forms of ID are

1. A valid Virginia license
2. A birth certificate
3. A passport.

Did I have any of those things? Of course not.

Getting a birth certificate from the state of Illinois turned out to be one of the hardest things I've ever attempted. They don't take phone requests - they do allow you to request one on the Internet, but you have to pay for it by credit card. Not a problem, right? Wrong...because what they don't do is take someone else's credit card as payment. Unfortunately, I don't own a credit card. So, ok, no biggie...altho I wasted 4 weeks waiting for them to inform me of this little bit of information.....So now I try it by mail...only they don't take someone else's check, either.....so I have to open a checking account simply to write a $8.00 check to the State of Illinois. All this just to prove I am who I say I am, even tho I already have 150 other pieces of identification which say I am exactly who I say I am.

Very recently, after an eight week wait, I got the required documentation back from Illinois. Meanwhile, last night, I get pulled over AGAIN for having Virginia plates and an Indiana license. I mean, why is this guy running my plates every other week to begin with? Not once has he given me a ticket or even a warning for anything else. I'm not even sure that what I'm doing is illegal. My plates are valid, my sticker is valid, my driver's license is an Indiana one, granted, but it's unexpired and it's also valid.

Last time he pulled me over, I explained to him the wait for the birth certificate and he let me go with a warning. Last night when he pulled me over, he let me go, but he told me that the next time he sees me on the street he will write me "a bunch" of tickets. I'm not sure what FOR exactly....but I suppose he can think of something if he really wants to. Smoking in a private vehicle, maybe. Or mumbling...which is also something he accused me of at one point last night.

So this morning found me at the DMV with my documentation in hand. I brought everything I could think of with me. Drivers license, birth certificate, insurance policy, divorce decree, papers from Social Security, the condo documents, the title to my vehicle and a few stubs from unemployment with my address on them. I was loaded for bear this time.

And DAMN IT....they STILL won't issue me a driver's license.

Now that I can prove I am who I say I am, I can't prove (to their satisfaction, anyhow) that I live where I say I live. Seems the ONLY proofs of residency they accept are the things I don't possess. Like a

1. Lease agreement or a mortgage payment book (Dan's house, Dan's name, Dan's generosity. I just live here as irresponsibly and as freely as a lark)
2. A utility bill with my name on it (see above explanation)
3. A voters registration card (which you can only get if you have a Virginia driver's license first)
4. A payroll stub with my address on it (God help the unemployed such as myself)
5. A cancelled check (my bank doesn't DO cancelled checks)
6. A Virginia drivers license (here we go again)
7. An auto insurance BILL (the policy I that I had with me is not considered good enough)
8. A current homeowners insurance policy (ok, here they we'll take the policy, but there, on the auto insurance part they won't - go figure that one out coz I can't)
9. Current school records. (Duh....)

I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL --- I DON'T OWN A HOME --- I DON'T HAVE A JOB -- I DON'T PAY UTILITIES. Apparently, all of this means one thing: I don't EXIST....at least not so far as the State of Virginia will recognize.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I made the woman supervisor at the DMV write me a damn letter to give the damn cop when he pulls me over again tonight.....

Mumblemumblemumble

Oh Dear....

Apparently I've been "tagged" by Michelle over here:

Headlines and Poetry

and now I have to tell everyone how "weird" I really can be.

5 things, huh? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

1. I was recently filmed as part of a "docu-drama" tentatively titled "Beautiful Women - It's Not Easy To Be One". Unfortunately, I was not one of the "Beautiful Ones" but had a bit part in one of the segments...If it ever gets air-time, I will be the one rolling her eyes while slathering tan-in-a-bottle on my friend and neighbor, otherwise known as "The Stripper." (She, by the way, IS one of the "Beautiful Ones"). Against my better judgment, I did end up getting interviewed both on and off camera, however, and it'll be interesting to see if it makes the final cut or not, as I wasn't too complimentary on the whole "beauty is truth and truth is beauty" idea. I've mixed emotions about women (or men) who use their appearance as a means to an end. There's just got to be something more to life, yanno?

2. I love salt, red meat, and grease. I can't help it, I came from the Midwest and it's what we eat there. I hate veggies and fruits. My diet is easy enough to follow...I just refuse to eat anything which is either green or orange. My mother insists that some day I will wake up and weigh 200 pounds. Her original target disaster decade for this to occur was 30, which she moved to 40 when I turned 35 without gaining an ounce and now she's aiming for 50.

3. I'm addicted to the following:

A. Law and Order (the TV show)
B. Pogo OnLine Poker Games
C. Cheese Curls
D. Fantasy Football
E. Jonathan Kellerman novels.

4. (Aren't we DONE yet???) I really LIKE all of my son's life-choices, most especially their respective spouses/fiancees/girlfriends. I couldn't have picked better ones myself.

5. I may not be fat yet, but I am lazy. I am a stay-at-home mom without children and I make no apologies for it. It is what it is, and it's fun.

6. When Dan tells me to "Shut-up" I do.

Sometimes I really miss having little boys around

The Raintown Review

Raintown Review

I received my contributor's copy yesterday. I made the "cover"!!! Probably not a big deal to anyone but me, but there it is and I'm unexpectedly excited. There are 21 names listed on the cover - along with "and 20 other poets" so I made an almost 50-50 cut. Not being an editor, I have no idea how things like this are decided, or if it's even a "statement" of sorts, but I have spent the night deluding myself into thinking it matters.
Anyhow, it's my claim to fame today, and we all know how short-lived that can be, so I'm enjoying it for now.
The magazine had gone dormant for a bit, but Harvey Stanbrough is back as editor and the publication looks great. Very elegant and understated and I was enthralled by his choice of poets and poems. It's a form-friendly journal, so for me at least, it was a true pleasure to read through. There were some familiar names - William Baer, William F. Doughtery, Joseph Salemi, Richard Moore, Michael Burch, Anna Evans - and some unfamiliar ones, as well, but the poems and the poets (recognized and unrecognized) knocked my socks off and that's fairly rare.

Trying Something Out

Poems removed for rewrite....maybe.

Not sure what I want to do with these. They were top-heavy with the introductions, but not strong enough to stand without them. I'm actually kicking around the idea of trying my hand at short-story writing - with the poems as either opening or closing statements. Pretty lofty thinking for me, since I've never written a story in my life. But then again, 6 years ago I'd not written a poem, either.
I don't know....no real plans at this point, only the smallest glimmer of a thought/wish.

SOTU

"No peace in retreat"

I hate to be the one to tell him this.....but there's no win in spin, either.

Taking Back the Night

Happy Birthday, Son # Middle

Today is my middle child's birthday. Happy Birthday, Jeremy Thomas.

Silly to mention it here - he'll never see it because none of the kids even know I have a blog. But - Happy Birthday, anyhow. I'll call him tonight since he doesn't like me to bother him at work. He's an ambitious sort....I worry about him. They are all ambitious....I don't know where they got it, it's certainly not maternally inherited. It's probably from all those years of eating macaroni and cheese and the infamous "dirt sandwiches" of their childhood. The "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again" syndrome.

I wonder how many people who write poetry have families who KNOW they write poetry? For the longest time I never mentioned it to anyone. Now, well, now I just don't care anymore....I trashed my entire Midwestern reputation when I picked up, packed up, quit my long term job and moved 'cross country without even stopping to give 2 weeks notice first. Actually, it's worse than that...I came for a visit and I simply never went back.

Poetry writing is a bit of a "ewww" occupation or hobby in my neck of the woods. It's not something you can taste or smell or feel and therefore, it's suspect. The guys on the Fire Department would have laughed me right off the engine had they known. Besides which, I was a realistic hardened little biatch and everyone knows that realistic hardened little biatchs don't waste time with the ethereal. It would have embarrassed them and I would have been embarrassed myself.

It's good here with Dan. He knows I write because he taught me how....he encourages it, he fosters it and he supports me while I attempt to do it. It's nice to be able to discuss meter and form and rhyme (oh my!) at the dinner couch. Of course, now I can't discuss blood and guts and internal organs over a plate of spaghetti, but oh well...win some, lose some.

So, how 'bout it? How many of you get support at home or at the job for your writing? Poetry gets disssed in the "real world" I think. If you say you're writing a novel, people are both impressed and interested....if you say you're writing "poetry", however, do their eyes glaze over and they pointedly change the subject - or do they still appear genuinely interested?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Under Construction

Temporarily closed for repairs

I'm Not Big On Music Video - but...................

Sorry, Mary Kate and Paris.......but this is really an interesting video....on several different levels.

(Caution: not at all for the vomit-shy)

http://www.gigglechick.com/erin/blog/004819.php

How Creative Are You? Time Yourself - Find the Head

... Less than 3 seconds: your right part of the brain (creative thinking) is developed above average people do....
4 second to 1 minute: your right part of the brain (creative thinking) is at average level of development....
1 minute to 4 minute: your right part of the brain (creative thinking) is below average level of development.

Thanks to http://oblacak.blogspot.com/

Stop Alito ...or how you can make a difference

Thanks to Scoplaw for posting this:

http://www.johnkerry.com/

right here: http://scoplaw.blogs.com/

Sign it if you will....or don't - it's just nice to still have a choice in something.

Bashert

Closed for Temporary Repairs

It's 2PM, Do You Know Where Your Lipstick Is?

Renee, Kate, Pamela, Tori, Gene...sans make-up.

Robin's Challenge

Should you decide to accept this mission:

http://www.sailpoet.com/myblog/


"Who are three of your favorite GREAT living poets?
DEFINE THIS GREATNESS. Cite three examples and tell us some specific aspect of the Cited Ones’ technique or craft that support their nomination to the pantheon. This’ll be fun!!! "

Name Those Poets

A recent question from Nolapoet:

Not baiting. Asking sincerely. Who are your favorite three poets? Or, as I prefer it, who are three of your favorite poets (which allows for many more additions later)?
Here are three of mine:
Marilyn Hacker
Sam Gwynn
Marilyn Nelson

R.
www.sailpoet.com/myblog

I'm just going to open this one up to the general public here.
Truth be told, all of my favorite poets are dead.
Except for Dan, of course.

It's an interesting enough question, tho. I wonder how many people have "favorite" poets? Are they living ones, or long deceased? I have favorite poems, but not poets. There are poets I like alot, some of them still alive, but for the most part, I become enamored with certain select poems and not the poets who've written them. There's not one poet, much less three of them, whom I consistently fall in love with or read religiously.

I'm not being evasive here, I'm simply trying to be honest. Most of my poetry knowledge is in the past. The present simply doesn't interest me all that much. Of the three names mentioned here, Sam Gwynn is the only one I am familiar with.

I'd like to hear what others think, tho. I'm learning to be more open to suggestion and I'll check out any names which are unfamiliar to me....who knows - maybe I'll even find one I can love.

Barking in Iambic Pentameter

Is it just me or is the "poetry world" made up of mostly, ummmmm, largely egotistical people? I've been workshopping for about 4 years now on a fairly well established board. (Which shall remain nameless for now, but if you really wanted to figure it out, it wouldn't be too hard.) Over the years I've been both delighted and irritated - I've laughed, I've cried, I've gotten angry, I've gotten annoyed. I've also gotten some darn good advice, but lately I'm beginning to realize that I never take it anyhow. Add that to the fact that while the delight-factor has decreased and the irritation-quotion has risen dramatically and it's enough to convince me that it's virtually worthless for me to continue. I'll never be meek enough to fit in and I'll never learn to keep my mouth shut in the face of ignorant behaviour. I call it like I see it and I see it through an outsider's eyes.

Steve Schroeder http://www.steveschroeder.info/news.html recently acknowledged that he was no longer going to be workshopping his poetry in on-line workshops. He based his decision on general discontent coupled with a rash of plagiarism. I'm about to base my own decision on something much more subtle and hard to define - disgust.

This morning someone wrote requesting a thread dedicated to upcoming readings. Which all sounds fine and well, if you ask me. However (and there is always a "however, isn't there?) they also "assumed" that "many might want to post every open mic reading, but that would pose a space problem." Also well and good, altho I don't know that there are that many "open readings" anywhere that don't feature at least a few scheduled poets. I'm also not sure that any "poet" worth his or her salt would be advertising that they were possibly reading at an open mic, but I could be wrong there.....benefit of the doubt to the originator of the thread.

It's the "answer" to the posed problem which has me at the breaking point. The "answer" is this: "Maybe it could be limited to those __________ with new books/chapbooks out or of unquestionable established import." Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Who decides who's important? And why? Are only poets with a book or chapbook any good? Are only "established" poets worth reading or listening to? How "established" does one have to be before they are beyond question? And where in the hell do you go to get established in the first place? It's not like boxing where you get a notch on your belt each time you knock someone out.

I've learned lately, from the workshop where I "grew up" and from years on AOL and from blogging that there are ponds.....and ponds and ponds and ponds. There's even a few lakes, but mostly there are ponds. Small areas of poetry where everyone knows everyone else and either likes or dislikes that person's poetry. There's some pond-jumping, but for the most part people seem to stay loosely within their own comfort zone. (This is not to say that people don't publish poems or books in all sorts of venues and areas...they do....but regardless of how far they reach and how well they swim they are still mostly read and enjoyed by a certain group of people who have gotten to know them and respect them) Even those few poets who get critical acclaim and who get a large amount of publishing and attention still seem to gravitate back towards their selected peers....perhaps out of comfort, perhaps out of loyalty, perhaps just because they like themmost - as poets, as peers, and as people.

My point is - everyone starts some place. To deny a non-book writer or an "unestablished" writer the right to post a reading date is not only silly - it's cruel and it's designed for no other reason than to keep the poetry world clannish and closed. If everyone did that, how would anyone new ever become part of the elite "established"? I don't know the author of this thread personally, but I would really like to ask him/her where on earth he/she gave their first reading and how many people showed up. If you can't invite your own workshop buddies, who CAN you invite?

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there....and the dogs are all barking at one another - in iambic pentameter, no less.

Dan's Dream - Un-materialized

Well, the weekend's over....and seeing as how the woman above did not materialize (Sorry, Dan) I am about to don MY work clothes, which consists of an old ratty robe and a head band, and start the Monday morning clean-up. Not that I'm complaining, mind you....it sure beats the hell out of putting on scrubs and wrapping a stethoscope around my neck and taking off for a 12 hour shift in the ER. I'm loving the "unliberated" life.

The weekend was good.....we sniped, we slept, we ate cheese curls and we halfheartedly watched football. All of "our" teams are out of it.....New England, Chicago, Indianapolis, Washington - they all managed to lose.....I've decided to root for Pittsburgh, tho....Dan and I spent a considerable amount of time there for a few years....it was the "half-way" point between Indiana where I lived and Washington DC where he lived. Every two months or so, instead of flying, we would each drive up (down?) to Pitts and meet at a delightful Comfort Inn with a hot tub IN the room and we'd hole up there for a weekend.

I did get a phone call this weekend.......one of those 3AM calls that makes a parent's heart skip about a thousand beats. I was sound asleep when the cell phone rang, scaring me half to death. The only people with the cell number are the kids....and 3AM just CAN'T be good. Turned out it was, tho. Middle son is back from Oregon and spending a week in Indiana. He and oldest son (Chicago) and youngest son (Indiana) and all their assorted wives, fiancees and girlfriends met up and went to Bourbon Street. According to oldest son, they were just sitting around talking about "old times" and my name just happened to come up. So they decided to call me and say hello. (1 out of three children called the next day to apologize and to assure me that all the females in the group had unsuccessfully tried to veto the call) It was wonderful hearing from them all. Not that I don't hear from them individually, but collectively....well, it was great. I wish I could have been there, but somehow, I think they had more fun this time without me. Middle son's wedding is in May, so I'll see them all in Oregon soon enough. I can't wait. Part of being a parent is wanting your kids to grow up strong, healthy, independent and happy......part of being a parent is being a whole lot selfish and feeling just a little bit sad when they do because it means you are no longer a necessary part of their life.

They think about me when they are drunk on their butts at 3 in the morning, tho.....can't beat that for Irish-son devotion. I guilted them right, apparently. :)

And the lamb shall lie down with the lion.........................Versions I - II and III

DO YOU KNOW

WHO YOUR SEARCH ENGINE'S TALKING TO????

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060120/ap_on_hi_te/google_records

SAN FRANCISCO - Google Inc. is rebuffing the Bush administration's demand for a peek at what millions of people have been looking up on the Internet's leading search engine — a request that underscores the potential for online databases to become tools for government surveillance.....................
The government wants a list all requests entered into Google's search engine during an unspecified single week — a breakdown that could conceivably span tens of millions of queries. In addition, it seeks 1 million randomly selected Web addresses from various Google databases.....................
Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news), which runs the Internet's second-most used search engine behind Google, confirmed Thursday that it had complied with a similar government subpoena........................
Every other search engine served similar subpoenas by the Bush administration has complied so far, according to court documents. The cooperating search engines weren't identified.
Sunnyvale, Calif.-based Yahoo stressed that it didn't reveal any personal information. "We are rigorous defenders of our users' privacy," Yahoo spokeswoman Mary Osako said Thursday. "In our opinion, this is not a privacy issue."
Microsoft Corp. MSN, the No. 3 search engine, declined to say whether it even received a similar subpoena. "MSN works closely with law enforcement officials worldwide to assist them when requested," the company said in a statement........................
Dixon is hoping Google's battle with the government reminds people to be careful how they interact with search engines.
"When you are looking at that blank search box, you should remember that what you fill can come back to haunt you unless you take precautions," she said..............

Copyright © 2006 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

Interesting "stuff".......I'd recommend reading the entire article. I didn't want to cut and paste the whole thing here due to length.

If nothing else, it kinda helps make up my mind as to whether I want to put that "Impeach Bush" banner up......

More Strange Bedfellows

Apparently, the two have been living together since October.

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060118090909990002&_mpc=news%2e10%2e3&cid=936

Ahhh, Sweet Submissions

I finally got down to work today and spent the morning reformatting and sending out a few things. I go through stages and most of those stages are lazy.

I did manage to get some things off today, tho. At this point, I figure if I can't write, I may as well submit what has already been written.

I've sent 5 poems each from Dan and myself to "Fourteen" ( http://www.fourteenmagazine.com/index.htm) in jolly ole England. I've never been published anywhere but in the United States, so that would be fun. I also like that they accept previously published material. Might as well get the most out of a poem. It's not like I write alot of them.

I also went a bit overboard and send the required six ( oh, too funny....Freud and I typo-ed "sex" - but I caught it in time) poems and bio to "Joaquin Miller's Cabin Poetry Series" in Silver Spring, Maryland. It's a reading series held in Rock Creek Park which has been been given every June and July for the last 31 years. I've never read aloud...I've never even attended a reading, so I am already wondering what on earth possessed me to send them anything. I sent for Dan, also, and as much as I hope I DON'T make the cut, I hope he does. He's got terrific presence and a wonderful, wonderful deep and powerfully commanding voice. It's the kind of voice that's made for reading out loud. My secret vice and my most favorite thing in the world is when he takes pity on my poor physically sick or mentally distressed self and reads to me. I don't even care what he reads...he could be reading Betty Crocker for all I care....it's his voice alone that does me in.

We'll see what happens. If nothing else, at least I accomplished that much today.

Vomiting Jonah

Vomiting Jonah

(from an engraving by Breughel)

Come Children, hear the ocean sigh
as seaweed turns to grass -
The rivers all run blood tonight
the water's made of glass.

Come see the soaring snakes and snails,
winged fish in desperate flight -
A silent pair of ragged claws
goes scuttling out of sight.

Come meet the mermaids, pale as sand,
who groom their tails with care,
while hermit-crabs and sea-urchins
are dangling from their hair.

Come greet the sailors home from sea,
the hunters, brave and few.
Tonight they'll dine on carrion -
We'll not know who is who.

Come watch the islands disappear
at the turning of the tide.
The world ends in flame or flood -
unless the prophets lied.

Come Children, view the earth's retreat.
Observe the ocean's swell.
The belly of the whale has burst -
Greet Jonah - back from hell.

Ekphrastic Poetry

Recently Rob MacKenzie posted an Ekphrastic Italian Sonnet that he'd written for a contest. (http://robmack.blogspot.com/)
Got me thinking about the one and only time I attempted such a thing. I've got no eye for art, so it's not something I would or could do very often. In fact, I think the one time I did it was one time enough for me.
I have to admit, it was fun, tho. Made me think and thinking is almost never bad. If you're thinking, you can't be getting into trouble.

Happy Anniversary

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/12/29/ap/strange/mainD8EPLKD83.shtml

For Dan....who holds the keys

She Flies

Although her cage was lined with feathers, bright
and soft, she mourned, as only caged birds mourn
when all their bedding comes from feathers torn
in fear - when all their fears are fears of flight,
when all their predators walk at night -
and when, safe locked inside life's cage, and worn
thin by life's long rage, they nest alone in fright.

Through tarnished bars of ornate lace, day-light
is dawning, full of grace, and someone knows
why this bird sings (though only one can hear
her voice) So desperately the trained bird tries,
each word a strangled, sweetened cry that flows
from choice that's clearly chained, but not by fear,
(for fear's untamed) - and safely reined, she flies.

"Holoprosencephaly"

Yahoo and AOL are carrying it....blaring it, actually. CNN and Google News are not - at least not yet, anyhow.

I'm talking about the "one-eyed kitten" whose pictures are being spread all over the web. I won't link to them....if anyone wants them, they can go hunt them down on their own. Personally, I've been half-pissed and half-tearful ever since I saw one....and believe me, one picture and one viewing was one too many. I am disgusted with the picture-taker, I am disgusted with the news outlets which published the pictures and most of all, I am disgusted with myself for following the link that led me to it. I should have known better.

I don't understand how (or why) people can take pictures of such things. I realize, in the grand scheme called life, that there are lots worse "things" than a deformed kitten - what I don't understand, what I'll never understand, is the sick fascination that people harbor for such occurrences. Is it to reassure themselves that they are somehow blessed by nothing more than the absence of such tragedy in their own lives or is it something more sinister that makes them take a perverse pleasure in the misfortune and disfigurement of others?

And why - WHY in God's name, did the owner of the kitten (which she aptly, if cruelly, named "Cyclops") not only save this unfortunate kitten from a natural and immediate death at the hands/claws/teeth of its mother (which I am assuming would have happened. Most animals will not allow a deformed offspring to live. They will either kill it outright at birth or simply ignore it and allow it starve to death) but keep it alive throughout the night and well into the next day by feeding it with an eye-dropper, all the while taking pictures of it....which she then sent to various newsites scattered across the internet? Is there nothing left that humanity won't exploit?

Of course, eventually the infant kitten died....it had no nose, it had one eye.....outward deformities are often accompanied by inner anomalies which are simply not compatible with life. But even then - even then - the kitten was not put to rest. It was not buried, burnt, or even flushed.....No, that wasn't good enough....we aren't done yet. This kitten doesn't get tucked lovingly into a shoebox, covered with a dishcloth and planted under the apple tree in the back yard.....not this kitten....THIS kitten gets slid into the kitchen freezer and kept for posterity....just in case someone important wants to do research on it....or take more pictures.

I should be happy, I suppose, that unlike the owner of the still-alive two-headed albino snake, this dead-kitten owner did have the decency to report she would not sell the corpse on E-Bay.

Or so she's saying.

Headline of the Day

German Cannibal Finds Film About Him Distasteful
By Scott Roxborough
Reuters
COLOGNE, Germany (Jan. 10) - A German cannibal is taking legal action to stop the release of the horror film "Butterfly: A Grimm Love Story," which he claims is based on his life.
Keri Russell ("Felicity") stars as a graduate student researching imprisoned cannibal Simon Grobeck (Thomas Kretschmann). Russell is drawn into Grobeck's world and becomes obsessed with the Internet cannibal community. "Butterfly" is scheduled for a March 9 release in Germany.
But not if Armin Meiwes, who was sentenced to eight-and-a-half years in prison for eating a man he met over the Internet, has his way. In a statement Monday, Meiwes's lawyer, Harald Ermel, said the film is a "slavish re-enactment" of the real-life events and his client did not give permission to producer Atlantic Streamline to fictionalize his story.
"I feel used," said Meiwes, who filmed the killing and confessed to the crime but denied it was murder since his victim volunteered to be eaten.
Berlin-based distributor Senator Film said it had no plans to pull "Butterfly," which was directed by Martin Weisz.
Meiwes goes before court again Thursday in the second stage of his trial. He faces life imprisonment. His lawyer said Meiwes wanted to prevent "Butterfly" from depicting a "false and stigmatized" version of cannibalism that could adversely affect the trial's outcome.
Meiwes also is suing German rock band Rammstein, claiming its song "Mein Teil" (My Piece) refers to his case.
Meiwes has given Hamburg production company Stampfwerk the rights to his story. Stampfwerk is producing a 90-minute documentary on Meiwes and his trial.

Copyright 2006 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved.

Old Stupid Poem

How Laughter was Created

The apple wasn't her worst sin
The snake did not cause Eve to grin.
The devil didn't make her gasp
The Lord Himself couldn't make her laugh.

Perhaps it wasn't God's intent
for Eve to notice Man erect.
Perhaps He meant for her to be
enthused --- but with more charity.

But when He showed her Adam's master,
Eve's reaction was disaster.
Her first response to Adam's rise
made living hell of Paradise.

In Case He Doesn't Win It........

"The 58-year-old DeLay, an exterminator before his election to Congress in 1984, said he intends to seek re-election next fall. "I plan to run a very vigorous campaign and I plan to win it," he told reporters in Texas." (http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060106165509990007)

Our new (and hideously-Washingtoningly overpriced) two-story - just bought in July, 2005 - luxury high-rise condo apparently came complete with roaches.....and not the kind you smoke, either.

Maybe Delay would be interested in a side-job. It's honest work...and we'd pay well.

....And Besides, That Wench is Dead

When I first saw this:




posted here: http://www.ronsilliman.blogspot.com/ I was a bit appalled....as much as I hate Bush's politics, as much as I feel he is both personally and politically responsible for sending my son's friends off to a war basd on outright deceit and tricky rhetoric, as much as I feel he is both personally and politically connected to the current Abramoff and Delay debacles, as much as I feel he has repeatedly and deliberately lied to us, used us, mocked us, trampled our rights in the process of abusing his own privileges, and as much as he's run roughshod over our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, it still seemed like such a big step - and such a serious one.

But now, a scant 12 hours later, I'm trying to decide if I want to add it as a permanent fixture on the blog.

It seems like such a big step, yanno? And it completes my metamorphosis from Naive Midwestern Featherhead to Opinionated Washingtonian Bitch.

Back in good ole '99 I was positive that Clinton should be impeached...not for soiling the dress of a virtual child (altho that played a part in my belief) but for the unforgivable (in my book) sin of lying. I thought Hillary was a moron (I'm still not sure she isn't) for forgiving him and I was sure that one lie, just ONE lie, was more than enough reason to throw someone out of office. I was of the mind-set which said, "If you'll lie to your wife, you'll lie to your country." I've since changed that particular view, although personally, were he MY husband, I'd still be cracking him upside the head with a frying pan.

So now I am unsure why I've not jumped on the "Impeach Bush" bandwagon long before this particular moment. Maybe I'm smarter now....maybe I realize all things are not black and white. Maybe I'm more politically savvy and more accepting of liars and thieves now that I'm actually living here in the nation's capitol. Maybe I'm jaded - maybe after weathering countless Bush-induced scandals I've grown accustomed to bullshit happening. Maybe I'm just too burnt-out to care as much as I did back in 1999. Maybe - given the current climate of unfettered wire-tapping and quasi-legal "secret investigations" - maybe I'm even a little bit afraid to speak up.

Me, the chicklet who routinely stood on burning rooftops - the one who was almost always first to volunteer to climb into the back seat of an overturned automobile in a rainstorm while live-wires sparked beneath the hood - the absolute bitch who lost her temper and walked up to a cackling crying crack-head and took a gun out of his hand because she didn't "have time to play around with this bullshit all night" - the 105 pound girl who never backed down and who seldom lost when involved in hand-wrestling 250 pound alcoholics in the back of her ambulance - that same insane woman is now, suddenly, after all these years, afraid.

And that's the real commentary, isn't it?

ARE YOU READY...........

FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?!?!?!?

I did it this year....finally!!! After 4 season of bringing up the rear, my team (The Philadelphia Kegels) made the play-offs in my main fantasy football league. My other team, The Hoosier Bysshe's, won first place in another league. This is MY year!!!!

My team for this week consists of:
QB: D. Garred (Jac)
WR: Jimmy Smith (Jac)
RB: (opps...dont have one)
TE: B. Watson (NE)
W/R Plexico Buress (NYG)
T. Perry (Cin)
C. Henry (Cin)
K: (opps again)
D: M. Peterson (Jac)
D: O. Omenyiora (NYG)
D: L. Foote (Pitts)
DB: T. Polamalu (Pitts)
DL: S. Quarles (TB)

My opponent's team is this:

QB: Jake Delhomme (Car)
WR:
RB: T. Barber (NYG)
TE:
W/R A. Toomer (NYG)
W/R
W/R
K:
D: C. Gamble (Car)
D: I. Tayor (Pitts)
D:
DB:
DL:

Now that team has a LOT of "opps - couldn't fill that position" positions.
I think I'll win this week....but it's a two part play-off and they have a fair number of Seattle players for next week. I, however, have Seattle's kicker, a Colt's running back and my "secret" weapon......Payton Manning.

It's a strange season....We live in Washington DC (Go Redskins), my oldest son lives in Chicago (Bears country) my middle one lives in Seattle (Seahawk territory) my youngest son is in Indiana (Colt Land) and Dan is a die-hard, wear-the-jersey-all-season New England fanatic.

I'm remaining neutral.

I'll be happy if "my" team wins.

Getting all political/medical and self-rightous

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/06/AR2006010600273.html?nav=hcmodule&sub=AR

"Sharon's physicians defended their decision to transport the prime minister by road from his ranch in the Negev desert region of southern Israel to Jerusalem after he complained of chest pain on Wednesday evening. He was examined by his personal physician, Shlomo Segev, who accompanied Sharon to Jerusalem, about an hour away, although there are hospitals closer to Sharon's Sycamore Ranch."

As a former medical-type person, I realize it is not my place to question a physician's judgment....I don't have their education and I don't have their familiarity with the patient. However, after a decade and a half of working in emergency rooms and on ambulances, I also realize that physicians occasionally make bad calls - and that sometimes it IS ok to firmly, but gently, point out the possibility that they're calling this one badly.

If you're a municipal ambulance (as opposed to a private service ambulance) it's also "ok" to refuse to follow a personal-physician order if you feel the order will place your patient at further risk. Granted, it's a pain in the ass - and you damn well better be sure you know what you're doing and that you have the courage of your convictions and some obscure law and some really shitty patient vitals to back you up, but you CAN do it....you can refuse to transport to any place but the closest medical facility.... in fact, in some areas it's not just a choice, it's a standing order.

I wonder, had it been me driving that ambulance, what I would have done.

I'm glad I never worked with the rich and the famous. I liked my job, I liked my patients, I liked the doctors I worked with and I liked the town I worked in. I liked that only once - when faced with a very similar situation - that my town and my hospital backed me up. I like that the old man lived to eat another Thanksgiving dinner with his family. I didn't like that my driver got punched in the face while trying to explain the "closest facility" rule to grandson-doctor though. I don't think he liked it too much, either.

Private physicians know medicine inside out and upside-down - they know their patients, they know their hospitals and their surgeries and they know all about drugs and treatments and laws and insurance and malpractice and hearts and bones and lungs and skin and chemistries and diseases and assorted illnesses and body-malfunctions. Ambulance people know a very little about all those things...but the one thing they do know is what constitutes an emergency situation.

In my humble opinion, a 77 year old man complaining of chest pain - one who is overweight, has suffered a recent stroke, is scheduled for heart surgery on the very next day to repair a heart defect and is on blood thinners - in my opinion -THAT'S an emergency situation....one you don't want in the back of your ambulance for anywhere near an hour if you can get him to a medical facility much sooner.

That's what helicopters are for.

Children

My children are not poets.
They are the words themselves.
The carpenters whose graceful hands
explain the nail to wood
and translate wood to warmth.

Things my children have in common with one another:

1. The color of their eyes

2. The size of their feet

3. The unlimited capacity of their hearts

Sour Grapes - Whine of Wrath

I wonder if there is a place where people (re: poets) don't squabble senselessly?

LIFE SENTENCES

Le Quartier de Trouillefou :: View Forum - Pope-Pourri 2006

It's funny, but not in a ha-ha kind of way. In the past 4 years or so, I've gone from AOL chat rooms and "boards" to on-line workshops to publishing the occasional odd poem and flash of brilliance to blog reading and writing and I'm suddenly, after all this time, struck by how similar they are to one another and how much they all have in common with recess down at the local grammar school. Trying to sort the bullies from the braggers and the whiners from the winners and the real poets from the wanna-be poets is like trying to separate wheat from chaff and I'm no farmer but I tell ya, I'm pretty sure that no matter how hard I try, I am going to end up with nothing but little bits of owie-stuff stuck beneath my fingernails for my efforts.

Let's face it....someone's prized grape is always going to get plucked from the vine and turned into someone else's whine. A rant is a rant is a rant...and it doesn't make any more sense when it's pounded home with a sledge hammer. I'm pretty sure some of these people think they're damn clever...and maybe they are....but "clever" doesn't always amuse and it almost never makes real sense. It mostly sounds like, well, sour grapes. In a small world, and make no mistake, poetry IS a small world, is it any wonder that some editors know some writers and that some editors ARE writers and that somehow, somewhere, sooner or later, some editor is going to publish some OTHER editor who just happens to be a writer, too? To paraphrase Jack Nickelson in that puking-witch movie I can't remember the name of: "Women.....a mistake, or did God make 'em that way?" Substitute "pissy poet" for "woman" and you've got the idea.

I'm new to this. Is there some way to tell when "networking" and/or "workshopping" turns into Abramoff-type lobbying? And if so, how do I avoid it? I suppose I could erase this blog, quit workshopping, change my name, delete my email account, dye my beautiful blonde hair mousy brown and submit poetry under an alias just on the off-chance that someone will recognize my name and remember me from Verse Daily or somewhere "good" and then, and only then, will I be a "real" poet who made it solely on merit. I thought "merit" was how we got known in the first place....what happens after that, who knows us, who we know, and how well we get known....that all happens AFTER the original ass-busting nail-biting merit-making takes place. None of us can help who knows us or who doesn't know us. We're either known or we aren't. I always thought getting "known" was a good thing...and now people are trying to make it sound like a bad thing, instead. Our reputation, as it were, is what we've already done.....our future is what we are still expected to do. Besides which - (and I need to mention it 'less you think I'm stupid) I know for a fact that the quickest way to lose a "good reputation" is to screw up by getting lazy. We are, each of us, only as good as the last poem we've written. People aren't going to publish my poetry, people aren't going to judge my poetry based on some poem of mine that they've already read....they are going to base it on the poem they are currently reading. I know that, you know that, and believe me, editors know that.

It alarms me. If I've linked to Steve Schroeder's blog, or to C. Dale Young or Steve Mueske, if I've workshopped at Eratosphere or the Gazebo or on AOL, if I happen to have lunch with an old friend who's started an e-zine long after she became a friend, does this automatically mean that my published poetry is no good anymore? That people will think that the only possible way I can get published by those editors is because I've taken the liberty of linking their names to mine in some common and often-used and abused manner on The Internet? Does this mean that, <> no one will ever take me SERIOUSLY again???

Personally, I don't think so. I either write well or I don't. No editor in his or her right mind is going to take a shitty poem and publish it just to return an alleged favor or to curry one. If anything, I would think they would be MORE picky-choosey about taking a poem from a friend or coworker/blogger/writer/poster/workshopper.....if only to avoid the very rants and whines I am reading now. I know I'd certainly be more careful in what I sent to someone I knew as opposed to someone I don't know...after all, whatever reputation I have is one I've worked damn hard for....I'm not about to screw that up by offering shit to someone....whether I know then or not....and if I know them, and they know me, then they'll be acquainted with my work and they'll KNOW if I've sent them sub-par poetry...and they will, justifiably, hate me for it.

Oy.....I give up. Just look for the mousy brown-haired girl with the numerous misspellings and the penchant for heavy rhyme and call me Gidget if and when you find me.

What's "Success"?

I'm trying to decide just what constitutes successful. Whatever it is, I've yet to feel it. I've promised myself that this year will be the year that I start submitting to the "better" magazines and journals, altho to be honest, I don't know what or who the "better" journals are.
Dan and I were talking last night, and I said I would feel better about myself if I could say I was published in Poetry or in The New Yorker or The Atlantic....and yet, if I'm totally honest with myself (and everyone else) I really don't even LIKE the poems they publish. They're usually way over my head or way under it, depending on how egotistical or how stupid I am feeling on any given day. I like the magazines and e-zines that have accepted my work, they're not pretentious and they're full of hard work and honest emotion. My own personal rule it to not submit a poem to any editor or magazine that I don't respect and enjoy. It's worked well for me so far. I don't feel like a whore and I'm sincerely flattered when someone I respect chooses to publish my work. If I break down and submit to Poetry or The New Yorker or The Atlantic, I'll be breaking my own rule simply to say "Look who published me." It would be validation, I suppose, but of what?

I'm pretty happy where I'm at, I think. I've got some things "out there" and I was thrilled when Verse Daily picked up one of my rare loosely-metered-but-still-free-verse poems. I write poems infrequently and I'll probably never assemble enough of them to make any kind of respectable chapbook. I'm seldom satisfied with anything I write and I tend to rewrite them incessantly until either they fall apart or I do.

There are people who post a poem weekly on the workshop where I post occasionally...and I envy them. I'd like to have the kind of discipline that says "you will write one poem a week" and stick to it. As it is, I'm lucky if I write a poem once ever few months.....and if I actually LIKE whatever it is I've written, I'm pretty content for the whole damn year.

Last year was a good one.

Maybe this year will work out ok, too.