Dear Mom,
About that interloping rat -
the one you're passing off as cat -
She's teeny-tiny-creepy small,
and we don't think she's cat at all.
She's commandeered the catnip mouse -
the bed, the couch - the whole damn house.
What once was ours she treats as hers.
She steals with sycophantic purrs.
She wrecks our litter, eats our food.
We're not amused - she's just plain rude.
She chews our tails. She takes our toys.
How could you, Mom? We were your boys.
How dare you bring this creature home -
this nearly hairless little gnome?
Don't call her " Kitty," she's not that -
she's naught but crawling wingless bat.
Quick, take her back! She's such a fake!
Admit you made a dumb mistake.
We're mighty tigers, hear us roar.
Show that rat-bat-brat the door.
Don't let her scare us any more.
Love,
Your Big Boys,
ADD & OCD
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