Saturday, March 14, 2009

Leaving Town

It's been sporadic around here - and it's going to get even more so.

I am outa here for a few weeks beginning today. I'll be back in Indiana without computer access.

When parents get old it gets hard to know what's best for them. Being a thousand miles away doesn't make for good decisions, hence the trip home to see what can or should be done.

What should be done never happens, though, does it? Because someone's "should" is always someone else's "shouldn't."

I should move back home to care for her - but I can't or won't. Giving up my life seems too high of a price although I should be willing to do so.

It would mean leaving my husband, my home, my job, my future and while I thought for a while that I was capable of doing so I now realize I cannot do so without setting up a situation built on dread and resentment which will affect not only the rest of her life but the rest of mine and my husband and my children as well.

She will not come here and I cannot stay there.

So the question is - where do I go from here?

And where does she?